So, I took the test. Then they told us to come back the next
day to get the results. So we returned. Charlie passed but I was informed I'd
failed. They wanted me to return to sit through the charla AGAIN and take the
test yet another time. I explained in rotten Spanish that the only way I would
learn anything was to review the questions I'd gotten wrong because I don't understand
Spanish well enough to understand the charla. And I wanted to see my test anyway.
"Esta basura. Su examen estuvio muy malo, muy malo." (It's garbage.
It was a very bad test.)
I said, "Forget
it, I'm not coming back. I don't need a license anyway, I’m working 15 hours
a day on a book and I don't have time." That statement proved to be a brilliant
negotiating tactic. Suddenly our acquaintance discreetly asks how much am I willing
to pay? Then asks for $1.50, then immediately ups it to $3.00 (for the 2nd person).
I figure that was lunch money for two. So we returned the next day so I could
write my name on a test with all the right answers already circled by a cop. While
I was "retaking" the test, I got to have a peek at the right answers.
Here's one I got wrong. What type of sign means you should yield to another car
and, if necessary, stop? I answered a YIELD sign. So did Charlie and HE passed.
But the correct answer is A STOP SIGN. Boy, that explains a lot about the driving
here. I’ve never seen such awful driving as in Honduras. However, a fellow
compadre at the Expatriates Bar set me straight. No, no, I was told, the driving's
worse in Egypt and Iran. Now THAT's saying something.
So,
10 minutes after I handed in my test, I found out I passed and was told to get
in line for my photo. Of course, you must bring along another photo for the cops
to keep. Then they take a second photo for the license. Go figger.
By
the way, I had to pay twice for the photo I brought with me, because the first
time they took it, my eyes were closed. So of course I had to repay to have it
retaken. We call this "the gringo tax." We get to pay more for everything.
Then when I said I wanted to keep the bad photos, I had to pay EXTRA for that!
(I swear I'm gathering evidence for one helluva a letter to the Minister of Tourism!)
I can't wait to write up this photo place in my guide book and say how incompetent
they are, and then they steal double or triple the gringo price!
So
at the fuzz station I'm trying to look pretty for my picture, and the cop who
took my test walks in. The photographer, who’s a grouch anyway, starts moaning
and groaning in Spanish something about "examen," my test, and the cop
kept repeating it was "bien," it was ok. What a circus.
Remarkably,
the photo came out quite good, I got my pinky fingerprinted for the first time
in my life, and was outta there in 3 minutes with a laminated drivers license
AND A RECEIPT. That was the FIRST receipt I'd gotten from any official fee I'd
paid for anything in 4 months in HONDURAS. Getting a receipt from a bureaucrat
is even more amazing than getting the license, because they all consider the fees
that they can steal part of their compensation. Truly. They honestly do not believe
it's dishonest. Such a Catholic country you never saw!
Not
so long ago, it used to be that if you wanted a Drivers License, anybody who could
afford 200 Lempiras (about $16) could buy one. If you were foolish enough to expect
to take some kind of a test, well, you had to pay more; it was more work for them!
It’s pretty scary seeing kids who look about 14 behind the wheel of a car
but then, maybe that just means the older I get, the younger they look.
Hmm,
the more things change, the more they stay the same.
